Turns out it is a burrito... and pancakes, sausage, beer, pizza and nachos

Wow. It has really been a long time since I last updated. So long, in fact, that the entire format of this blog has changed and I have no idea what I'm even looking at! I hope this gets posted.

So, what do you do when your cholesterol blood test basically tells you that your blood is made of bacon grease and buttercream? Well... you have to do a "lifestyle change". I would never ever ever EVER post my weight or fat pictures of myself (I have way too much fear that one of my ex-boyfriends would see it and then fall out of love with me, cuz I know they ALL still want me). However... I will post my current stats:

Cholesterol = 388 (yikes!)
Triglyceride = 237 (again, yikes)
LDL = 247 (holy sh*t!)

I will also say that according to my BMI, I am "overweight". Yes, I am chunky, not quite obese, but apparently I have the blood of a person who eats Krispy Kreme and McDonalds Big Macs daily. So, I thought I would start writing about my journey to try and get my numbers down. This will not be your average "weight loss" blog. I hate exercise, I hate vegetables, I like pizza and I am an asshole when people tell me I can't have something. Also, I'm a picky eater and I have never experimented with things like "quinoa" or "brown rice" or lasagnas made of veggies. I plan to be annoyed a lot.

I'm hoping I can stay focused and by writing my blog, stay somewhat accountable. I really don't want to be a 35 year old woman on 50 medications! My 90 year old grandfather is in better shape than me and that is just sad.

In conclusion.. wish me luck! And here is are a couple pictures of my kids because there is no way on EARTH I am going to post any of me!!!! Peace I'm outta here!