1. Drinking small amounts of motor oil will not kill you... but it will make you poop every hour on the hour for three days straight.
2. Dog poop, even when rolled around in dirt, is never a pleasant surprise when it is handed to you in the kitchen. Probably not anywhere else either.
3. It doesn't matter how old you are... if you wear sandals without socks, you are gonna get stanky feet.
4. Sometimes when my husband is snoring, I seriously consider smothering him with a pillow. Not til he's dead or anything, just until he is quiet.
5. The little paranoid scaredy cat little boy I used to know, is becoming a not so scaredy cat young man. Although he is as paranoid as ever!!
6. It doesn't matter how old or or chubby or wrinkley I get, when I drink enough... I think I'm Minka Kelly or Mila Kunis or whoever else you think is hot stuff.
7. I totally have hoarding tendancies. There is a good chance that in 30 years you will see me on the A&E show "Hoarders". Hopefully I'm not pooping in bags and saving them in the kitchen.
8. When I play with my make-up, I'm totally happy in my own world like I was when I was seven and I was making my slutty Barbie do it with my G.I. Joe. I've always had a thing for a man in uniform.
9. I cannot get naked in a gym until I am SAFELY in the shower stall. I think this is because I grew up with brothers and not sisters. Also, people who freely walk around with their FULL NUDE BODIES scare me and I think their vaginas are trying to get me.
10. Seeing my boys happy, makes me happy... even when I'm really not happy.
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