Bursitis.... not JUST for athletes

SOOOOOOOO yeah... it has been a while since I've written. You might think it is because I have totally gotten on the ball; going jogging every day, lifting weights, doing 200 crunches, making salads and quinoa casseroles with brussell sprouts, but you would be TOTALLY WRONG. So let's take it back a few weeks...

Tbill's daycare was closed before Labor Day, and I had to take a couple days off. I decided to bring him to work to visit everyone because he hadn't been there since he was a wee baby. I bring him in, everyone "ooooh" and "aaaaaahhhs" over him. He gets super amped up and decides to start running all around. I chase after him. I don't want to sound like a hippo stampede, so I run on my toes, much like a graceful gazelle. Giselle? The deer, not the model. Anyway, as I am flittering about like a butterfly on my toes, I get a sudden sharp pain in my heel, and it hurts. Bad. For over a week. So I finally get into the doctor and I am informed that I have Achilles Tendonitis and Bursitis in my right foot. She asked me if I was a runner and I looked at her with a totally blank stare and said "Seriously? you think THIS runs... like, at all?" Well, apparently Bursitis is usually from being overused. Except in my case, where I'm thinking it was caused by under-use with a sudden unexpected use, if that makes sense. What I'm saying is my body is rejecting exercise. That is the ONLY explanation that makes sense (to me). She told me it can take up to three months to heal, I have to wear these hard plastic inserts in all my shoes and do all these stretches. Basically, it is just annoying. I can still get some exercise in, but to be honest, I haven't done any because I am lazy. When I get done with work, I just want to go home. I have absolutely no motivation to go to the gym after work and even LESS once I get home. This is really something I need to incorporate into my day, but let's face it... it is SOOO much easier to not incorporate it. So, that is something I need to work on. That and not drinking a bottle of wine a night.

Now, here is another issue: my goals of losing weight and my food board on Pinterest are in direct odds with eachother. I know I should be pinning the quinoa salads and 50 Ways to Prepare Talapia, but instead, I pin things like "Slutty Brownies" and "S'more Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies". Of course, I'm now sitting at my desk like Homer Simpson drooling at the thought of cookies. And Pizza.  And here is my new brown hair. Okay, bye.

The Good, The Bad and the Pizza

Okay, so when I started writing again, it was because I wanted to keep myself accountable. I figured maybe if I had to show other people what I was going through, I would be more likely to stick with this whole new "lifestyle change" I'm supposed to be doing. But... it is HARD. It is SO FLIPPEN HARD. I read all these weight loss blogs of these incredible women who have changed their lives... and yet, I cannot go one week without pizza. Maybe my issue is that I should have started blogging when I was well on my way. Maybe then it would have been somewhat inspirational! Instead, I feel like I am confessing my sins over and over. 

Soooo... on Thursday, I had a REALLY bad sinus headache. It felt migrainey, but just on one side of my face. None of the medication I took was working, so I did what I do when nothing else is working... I decided to have a cocktail or three. Well, I don't really drink that much anymore, so sometimes I forget how much it can lower my inhibitions, especially when it comes to food. So since I was pretty much drunk town when Ehee got home, he decided to pick up McDonalds for dinner. Well, after I ate my entire dinner, I apparently decided it wasn't enough... so I stole Ehee's french fries, ate half of Trevor's nuggets, and then helped myself to more booze. I felt HORRIBLE about myself the next day. I felt like I was a disgusting human being... when I binge like that I fully hate myself after, yet I continue to do it. For example... today I went to my friend's son's 1st birthday and the nacho bar. I tried to be good... I don't think I was horrible. But, the pizza I just ate for dinner pretty much topped out the evening. Who DOES THAT?? I'll tell you who does that... people on their way to being 678 lbs and fused to their couch. People who have whipped cream running through their veins.

I wish there was some easy fix. I wish that I could just say... okay, I'm DONE with this and actually follow through. I wish when I saw CARBS I didn't go into a shark like frenzy. I wish when I saw a bottle of wine, I didn't go into a piranha type frenzy... you know, like when they see a cow crossing the river, or giant DD boobs floating at Lake Havasu.

So I will end this on a positive note. There have been some good things this week... for example, I got to the gym twice and actually worked out HARD. Hard enough where I felt light headed and shaky afterwards. I also ate pretty well the rest of the week. It's just hard to see the good when I feel so much guilt about the bad. So on that note, I am going to go sit down and read my new In-Style magazine and look at all the amazing fashions that I cannot afford, nor can I fit into them. YET!!! I will get there... eventually.

One week down...

So I made it through the first week of being "healthy"... or as healthy as I can be. I will admit, I have had a few cheats here and there, but for the most part, I've been good. It started off last Monday with me making a super yummy pasta with olive oil, garlic, chicken and cherry tomatoes. Tuesday was also pretty good, although not as good as Monday's meal. The real problem was on Wednesday.

On Wednesday I decided to make a top sirloin and cauliflower "mashed potatoes". So I found a recipe off a website that had a ton of great reviews. Everyone talked about how it basically tasted JUST like cheesey mashed potatoes. I was very excited and had high expectations. I will say, they did LOOK just like cheesey mashed potatoes... same consistency and everything, but they didn't TASTE ANYTHING like mashed potatoes!! I sort of choked it down because I was trying to like it. Ehee took one bite and his entire face changed. He ran to the garbage can and spit it out. He asked me what the HELL that was he just put in his mouth. I told him what it was, laughing of course. He was pretty pissed! hahahaha... apparently he thought they were potatoes and was not expecting the flavor!. I asked him if he pretended they were cheesey grits if he would be able to eat them. He replied that they taste like cheesey grits that 85 sailors jacked off into. Now I'm not sure what that would taste like, but I can imagine it is NOT very good. So, for now... I will not be making those again any time soon. I think next time I'll just try to roast them or steam them.

Thursday, we were supposed to have pork tenderloin, but it was way too friggen hot in our house to have the oven on. So instead, I made homemade pizzas which turned out to be the BOMB. I will DEFINITELY make that again! Maybe someday, I'll get out of the late 1990's with my flip phone and actually get a fancy phone where I can upload some of the pictures of the food I make. But whatever, for now... you will just have to dream about my delightful pizzas.

Friday was pretty good foodwise, but then Saturday was AWFUL. I woke up to fresh coffee and a DOZEN DONUTS on the counter. I decided that Saturday could be my cheat day and helped myself to a donut. Then, a chicken burrito with no sourcream. Then, a burger and fruit. Then, a slice of ice cream cake (it was my niece's bday, I couldn't say no!). By yesterday I was back on the wagon and being good so I decided to be brave and weigh myself in this morning. -4 lbs! I was happy, but at the same time, I know it is mostly water because the last time I weighed myself was two days before I was supposed to get my monthly visit. SO... 4 lbs is 4 lbs, I'll be happy and just hope that I can do something similar for next week!

So I'm done rambling for now. Someday I hope to make this coherent so people will actually read and understand what I'm talking about. But for now, it's enough that I know what I'm talking about.

Turns out it is a burrito... and pancakes, sausage, beer, pizza and nachos

Wow. It has really been a long time since I last updated. So long, in fact, that the entire format of this blog has changed and I have no idea what I'm even looking at! I hope this gets posted.

So, what do you do when your cholesterol blood test basically tells you that your blood is made of bacon grease and buttercream? Well... you have to do a "lifestyle change". I would never ever ever EVER post my weight or fat pictures of myself (I have way too much fear that one of my ex-boyfriends would see it and then fall out of love with me, cuz I know they ALL still want me). However... I will post my current stats:

Cholesterol = 388 (yikes!)
Triglyceride = 237 (again, yikes)
LDL = 247 (holy sh*t!)

I will also say that according to my BMI, I am "overweight". Yes, I am chunky, not quite obese, but apparently I have the blood of a person who eats Krispy Kreme and McDonalds Big Macs daily. So, I thought I would start writing about my journey to try and get my numbers down. This will not be your average "weight loss" blog. I hate exercise, I hate vegetables, I like pizza and I am an asshole when people tell me I can't have something. Also, I'm a picky eater and I have never experimented with things like "quinoa" or "brown rice" or lasagnas made of veggies. I plan to be annoyed a lot.

I'm hoping I can stay focused and by writing my blog, stay somewhat accountable. I really don't want to be a 35 year old woman on 50 medications! My 90 year old grandfather is in better shape than me and that is just sad.

In conclusion.. wish me luck! And here is are a couple pictures of my kids because there is no way on EARTH I am going to post any of me!!!! Peace I'm outta here!