I got pregnant two weeks before my 18th birthday. Did this happen because when I was 9 years old, I saw a video about a young teenage girl getting pregnant by her hot, yet greasy, boyfriend and telling her Papa to not preach? ORRRRR, did I get pregnant because I was a foolish girl whose parents didn't pay enough attention to her and never talked to her about getting on birth control even after they KNEW she was having sex? If you blamed Madonna, then this post is for you.
When I was 10 years old, a song called "I Want Your Sex" came out on the radio. There were two types of parents back then... the parents who just let us listen to it and sang along, and the parents, like my favorite aunt, who thought it was inappropriate for 10 year olds to sing and changed the radio station. Nowadays it seems we have three types of parents... the ones who sing along, the ones who turn the radio station, and the ones who blame those songs, music videos and musicians for raising their children wrong and ruining society.
I'll just get to the point... I am completely OVER everyone complaining about Miley Fucking Cyrus. The VMAs were weeks ago, and yet people are still posting all about it on social media. "My daughters love Hannah Montana, how am I supposed to deal with this!?!?!?!" Well, first of all, you should know that Hannah Montana was a fictional character created by a massive corporation to sell your children products, and boy did they ever make their money's worth. Second of all, the person who played the character of Hannah Montana is a REAL person, who is no longer a 15 year old girl and who is trying to experiment with her life to figure out who and what she is, just like 99% of us did at that same exact age. Did I necessarily want to see Miley's flabby baloney buns gyrating against a foam finger? No, not really. I found it sad, like she was trying too hard. Then I went back and found all the pictures of me with my tongue out trying to be crazy and obviously trying WAY too hard and thought... OHHHHHHH, I guess we'll all stupid at that age.
Here it is... if you don't want your child listening to Miley Cyrus or idolizing her, then don't let them listen to it. I know this is a horrible thought, actually taking CONTROL of what is influencing your children, but trust me, it is possible to do. I understand it is SO much easier to blame others for your failings as a parent, but you are only doing a disservice to yourself and your kids. Kids do not need to get everything they want. Period. I like all kinds of music, most of which is not appropriate for my three year old. So you know what I do?? This is amazing actually... when I am in the car with him, I listen to music that is appropriate for him to listen to. When he is OUT of the car, I put on my hard core gangsta rap or death Satanist metal and regress to my 17 year old self. I don't let him watch music videos that I don't think are appropriate, I don't watch TV shows in front of him that are inappropriate and I don't take him to rated R or PG-13 movies because, again, I find them inappropriate, and also I don't want to ruin other movie watchers good time by bringing a terrified toddler to a movie that is way too scary for his Disney Junior brain. I know!! It's amazing!! How do I live my life!?!? I can't tell if parents today are just selfish assholes who themselves want to watch the VMAs so they let their 6 year olds watch, or if they are so scared of saying "NO" to their children, they'll let them stay up until 10 pm on a Sunday so they can watch it. Either way, that is your failing... not the failing of a 20 year old girl.
I'll tell you right now what is destroying our society... participation trophies and vagina shorts. Participation trophies show our children that mediocrity is something you should be rewarded for, and vagina shorts show your daughter's vaginas. Maybe I'd take the parents bitching about Miley more seriously if they weren't the same mothers listening to Britney Spears in the car while riding around with their 10 year old daughters already wearing makeup and wearing vagina shorts. Just so you know, as much as I don't want to see Miley's flabby butt cheeks, I also don't want to see your 10 year old daughter struggle to keep her vagina in her shorts. And that is all I have to say about that.
I love you!
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