Thankful

So I know that most of the time in my blog, I try to be funny or sarcastic. This is because I don't deal well with most emotions. I generally get very uncomfortable when people around me cry, or look like they are about to cry. I roll my eyes when people tell me how precious something is, even their children. I know!! I'm like the Grinch, but not specifically to Christmas. What people do NOT really know or understand is that this is a really a defense mechanism because I am way OVERLY sensitive. When I am alone in the car and I hear a song that touches me, I cry. Yes, I actually cry. I cry at movies, at TV, and even books. However, when people around me do it, I get super uncomfortable and I run for my life. That is why I try to keep this blog light and fluffy and I never really talk about my feelings.

That said, this entry is going to talk about my feelings. I'm going to try to anyway.

Today I read one of the most heart breaking blogs I could read. It contained two very sensitive subjects to me which would be illness and children. It made me really start thinking about what is important in my life. I'm so quick to complain about my baby taking crack and staying up all night, or my teenager driving me NUTS with his constant attitude. But in all honesty, I am SO, SO greatful that I have two healthy children who are able to drive me crazy. Sometimes I get so caught up in "me" or the meaningless drama that goes on in my life, that I forget to put things in prospective. Why do I obsess over the wrinkles starting to creep in around my eyes, when I should be grateful that I have lived long enough to earn those wrinkles? Why do I get embarassed about my 1 year old having stranger anxiety, when I should be glad that he is healthy enough to be around strangers? It all seems pretty trivial in the grand scheme of life.

Let me state now that I love both my boys with all my heart. I am thankful every day that they are healthy and that I have never had to go through any major trauma with either of them. I pray every day that I will never have to go through any major trauma with them because I don't know if I am strong enough to take it. I am grateful for every day I spend with them and I pray that I have years and years with them, and someday their children. They are my heart, and when they hurt, my heart hurts. If I could take every ounce of pain they have known, or will ever know, I would because I honestly believe it would hurt me more to watch them bear it.

With that said, I don't say this much, but I will pray for Brandi and Chris. This is their blog: brandiandchris.blogspot.com
Hopefully, if you have a chance you'll read it and their heart breaking story. The good news is there is hope and even if you don't pray, maybe you can send good thoughts and vibes their way.