Being back at work is the gateway to my own personal hell of food on demand. When I was home, Wilbur did not allow me to really eat very much. He would allow me about 10-15 minutes of free time and in that time, I had to make my food and shove as much of it in my face as I could in the shortest amount of time possible. Otherwise I was holding him, burping him, feeding him every two hours on the dot, or trying to clean the house, do the laundry, the grocery shopping or the cooking. This helped me lose weight.
However, now I am back to work where not only is there a cafeteria downstairs with chefs just waiting to give me sides of bacon, but there is my boss who, if you can remember, wants to someday leave her job as a lawyer and open a bakery. All of this was fine and good when I was pregnant and had an excuse to eat like a sumo wrestler in training, however it is not as much fun when you are trying to lose weight so you can fit into a bridesmaid dress in four months. I'm still debating on if that is a run-on sentence. If it is, you'll just have to deal with it because that is how my brain works these days... in fragments and run-ons.
To make a long story short, I noticed in some recent pictures that my double chin has made her way back to my face. I argued with myself as to if I should get on that scale yesterday. I thought, if you see your weight, you will be discouraged and you won't lose. Then I thought, no, I DO need to see what I weigh or I'll just keep eating! So I hopped on and there they were, the ugly 4 lbs I had been dreading.I have gained 4 lbs in four weeks. Normally, I wouldn't even care, however I am STILL BREASTFEEDING!!! I am still burning off almost 500 calories a day! This means I have CONSUMED MORE THAN A BADILLION EXTRA CALORIES PER WEEK SINCE I HAVE BEEN BACK TO WORK!! If it wasn't so atrocious, it would be hilarious.
It all began with the cookies and brownies my boss brought in to welcome me back, then the ice cream the girls took me to, the chocolate banana cream pie, the two cakes that were brought in as a thank you from the girl who covered my medical leave, the brownies from my boss' son's birthday party! I marched into work yesterday and told my boss "NO MORE GOODIES". I said, it is fine if you want to bring me something small on occassion, but please, don't give me containers full of double chocolate toffee cookies. She said "oh don't you put the blame on me, there is no way it is my fault you gained 4 lbs!" So then I thought, well if SHE isn't taking the blame what could it be. I thought back to the previous night's dinner. What was it again? Oh yes, the giant Costco size hot dogs. Ehee and I made chili cheese dogs AND macaroni and cheese for dinner the night before. Oh yes, I am THAT DISGUSTING. I really DO eat like a trucker!
So yesterday I began my official diet. I am no longer messing around. I had oatmeal for breakfast, apple slices through out the day as a snack, a granola bar, a frozen Weight Watchers lunch and chicken and pasta for dinner (only one serving thank you very much). However, apparently when I told my husband I was on a diet, he really wasn't paying much attention. He came home from costco with a 12 pack of those super chocolate cupcakes, the ones with either the chocolate frosting or the baby pink frosting with sprinkles. My boss, however, DID listen because today when she brought me s'more cupcakes (graham cracker and chocolate batter baked with marshmellows pictured above) she only brought me one. hahaha! So yes, welcome to my food hell. People just randomly show up with cupcakes on days one and two of my diet, right after I tell them I am on a diet!
You are probably asking yourself, why doesn't she just say no? Well, cuz I'm a fat girl and fat girls never say no to cupcakes, that's why we're fat! I'm hoping day three will be better than days one and two! Wish me luck!
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